The very idea of ILEC seems very close to what I've been looking for - could it simply be it? It also struck me that that was the style I was originally taught, so it might be starting again from square one in a way, but in a rather cheerful way methinks. On the other hand, all I can say is 'scary-scary' and it's not so much the level that frightens my but rather the environment as such and the possible outcome in the first place.
Hush... Considering possibilities for failure would not contribute to the success. Nor would it boost confidence, to say the least about not being a pleasant pastime. So, simply stop it! It would definitely be of more significance to start off with what could and should be done to get the whole project up and running. The weakest link seems to be the apparent shortage of relaxed and natural utterances, which in the long run will boil down to the so familiar lack of self-confidence and proper breathing pattern. Another point I can do with is enough sleep - should be working more seriously in this direction next week.
As for the failure... I will survive the damage from LL, I'd think and it was really the icing of the cake to have a laugh at that monster I happened to bump into today - that was something and probably the most positive humming of today was 'never ever shall you see me'.
On a more serious note, it's high time I started doing something serious and worthy in this life... Fingers crossed, I will
Cheers all and good night